we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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