U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
