Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
