I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
