U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
