Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
