But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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