BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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