I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
