I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
