you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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