girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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