party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i think i have herpe
just one?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
