Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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