from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We have so much sex to catch up on
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
