I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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