I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
