my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
