When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
