I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
