the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
