So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
