Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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