New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
