Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
