You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
