im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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