just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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