areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
