This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
