SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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