You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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