She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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