I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
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