Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
