dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
