Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
