Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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