wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
