Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
