i permit you to call me
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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