let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
