I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
