i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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