I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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