They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
COCAINE IS GR8
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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