mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
