white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
