Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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