We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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