I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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