okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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